let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
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Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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