He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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