He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
