The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Enjoy the penises
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
