I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
