Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
