is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
