If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
She announced her abortion via fbk
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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