I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
