Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
