She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
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