Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
