It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
