Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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