Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
