True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize