so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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