if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
