She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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