youre lurking in front of me
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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