I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
