i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You left your phone here
Wait...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
