$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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