wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later