Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it