escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
