You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
