All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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