I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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