I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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