I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize