big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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