u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
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