what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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