someone threw a dead crab at me
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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