nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
