addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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