what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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