so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I skipped work to stalk him.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
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