I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
