Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
The air taste purple.
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