i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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