I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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