my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
