Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
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I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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