I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
