Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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