so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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