Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize