Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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