I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't put those talents on a resume
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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