I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I supernannyed him into submission
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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