Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
