I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
