Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
