Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
3pm strippers are depressing
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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