so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
