I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
