Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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