Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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