Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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