Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Randomize
