wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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