my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
